This episode is part of the Elevated Leadership Podcast Series, co-hosted with Julianna Yau Yorgan. It is available here on The Uncommon Career Podcast and The Daring to Succeed Podcast.

Stuck Isn’t a Character Flaw—It’s a System You Can Change

Have you ever been stuck and felt like you failed in more than two aspects of your everyday life? Well, here's the truth: feeling stuck isn’t failure, laziness, lack of ambition, or a personality defect.

Stuck is a system—inputs, loops, and hidden rules—that keeps effort high and progress low. The experience is visceral: foot on the gas, brake clamped tight, wheels spinning, energy leaking. Days are busy but strangely unproductive; nights end with guilt despite constant motion. In this segment with Julianna Yau Yorgan, the most useful shift begins by naming what stuck actually looks like in real life, then replacing the loops with better ones.

Let's begin translating that into practical moves: spot the patterns, interrupt the loops, return to traction, and use coaching (in its purest sense) to create clarity, conditions, and cadence that keep momentum alive.

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What “Stuck” Really Looks Like (So It Can Be Changed)

Stuck often hides in sensible behaviors. It looks like “preparing” but never shipping, “researching” but never deciding, “optimizing” tools while the real work waits. On the surface, everything appears responsible. Underneath, attention is scattering, focus is brittle, and relief comes from micro-hits of novelty rather than finished outcomes.

Common telltales show up across calendars, browsers, and bodies:

• Procrastination dressed as preparation. Tasks labeled “prep” expand to fill the week; the decision or deliverable never arrives.

• The learning loop. One more article, one more video, one more course—dopamine hits masquerading as progress. The brain feels relief; the problem remains unsolved.

• AI as an infinite critique engine. Ask for “feedback,” implement it, ask again; the tool will always find more. Perfect becomes a moving target, so “done” never occurs.

• Energy leaks. Constant busyness with minimal impact; exhaustion despite rest. The system spends down the day but doesn’t move the needle.

• Rationalization. Explanations multiply: the boss, the market, the timing, “not ready yet.” Some reasons are real; their volume becomes the trap.

Seeing these clearly is not self-indictment—it’s diagnosis.

When the loop has a name, the next move can be designed.

Why the Brain Chooses Loops Over Leaps

Our minds prefers certainty. “One more article” feels safer than shipping. “Rewriting the plan” feels safer than the first awkward phone call. Under pressure, the mind runs worst-case simulations and labels everyday conversations as conflict. That’s why even trivial tasks (inbox checks, reorganizing a closet, rearranging a Notion board) feel soothing: bounded, knowable, controllable.

Two mechanisms reinforce the rut:

• Dopamine relief without resolution. Consuming information temporarily soothes uncertainty. When the relief fades, the problem still waits—so the cycle repeats.

• Split intention. Outer self pushes forward (new to-do lists, full calendars); inner self slams the brake (something feels off, so action stalls). The result is effort without momentum—gas and brake together.

Understanding this physiology reframes the work.

The goal isn’t to “be stronger.” The goal is to design moves that calm the system, restore choice, and create small proofs that the sky doesn’t fall when action happens.

Which begs the question, how exactly do we get unstuck?

How to Get Unstuck: A Four-Move Sequence That Rebuilds Traction

The fastest way out is not a heroic overhaul. It’s a sequence that shrinks ambiguity, converts attention into decisions, and produces visible progress. 

1) Name the Pattern, Not the Person
Swap “Why am I like this?” for “Which loop is running?” Is it the learning loop, the preparation loop, the AI critique loop, or rationalization? Naming the loop externalizes it—something being used, not something that defines the person.

• Once a loop is identified, tie it to a cue (“When starting X task, I open three tabs…”) so the intervention can trigger on time.

2) Trade Volume for a Single Decision
Stuck thrives on infinite options. Replace sprawling plans with one decision that changes the next hour.

• “Choose one role to target today,” “Send one message,” “Draft a rough first paragraph,” “Ship v1 to one reviewer.”
• Decisions collapse uncertainty; action follows decisions.

3) Make Progress Visible, Fast
A one-page outline, a two-slide brief, a 10-line summary notes the work is real. Visibility beats perfection because it invites support, feedback, and momentum.

• Create “proof in public,” even if the public is a teammate or future self. 

4) Close the Loop
Finish with a tiny, unmistakable “done”—send, schedule, submit, publish. We learn from completions. One small closed loop trains the next. Over time, completion becomes the default.

High-Friction Scenarios—and Friction-Cutters That Work

Certain moments reliably kick people back into the mud. Use these frictions and their paired cutters as a field guide.

• The Research Whirlpool

  • Friction: “Need to know everything before starting.”

  • Cutter: A 20-minute timebox followed by one decision (“Which source will be used for this draft?”). Timeboxes outcompete rabbit holes.

• The Infinite Rewrite

  • Friction: Polishing sentences while avoiding the point.

  • Cutter: Start with “Point, Proof, Path”: one sentence stating the point, one fact as proof, one next step. Then, and only then, polish.

• The Meeting Marathon

  • Friction: Days full of calls, nothing meaningful advanced.

  • Cutter: Reserve one “impact block” daily (30–60 minutes, no notifications) to deliver something shippable. Blocked output inoculates against meeting fatigue.

• The Inbox Auto-Pilot

  • Friction: Checking at bedtime or wake-up for a sense of safety.

  • Cutter: Replace the cue with a single grounding question: “What one decision creates the most relief tomorrow?” Answer it in a sticky note; leave email closed.

• The Below-Pay-Grade Drift

  • Friction: Choosing quick tasks over deep work.

  • Cutter: Label the “one strategic move” for the day and tie it to a calendar alarm. Deep work earns a time and a place, not a wish.

Replace Rationalization With Reality: Five Conversations Worth Having (With Yourself or a Coach)

Effective coaching isn’t a program, pitch, or personality cult. It is a high-quality container for change: structured attention, practiced questions, and calibrated experiments that turn fog into forward motion. Three things matter most. But what if you're not in the market for a coach?

Then take these questions with you in your quiet time. These will help move attention from story to structure. Use them solo, or bring them to a coaching session to accelerate progress.

• Loop Audit: “When does the loop trigger? What’s the precise cue, and what replaces it?” (E.g., cue = opening a new tab; replacement = starting a 10-minute outline timer.)

• Decision Hygiene: “Which single decision, made today, would make tomorrow easier?” Decide it, then act.

• Ownership Check: “Where is ‘they’ in the script?” Translate every external factor into a controllable move, even if small.

• Energy Accounting: “Which tasks drain without impact? Which create outsized progress per minute?” Double the latter; delegate or delete the former.

• Completion Ritual: “How will this end?” Define the ‘send/ship/submit’ moment before starting.

These conversations don’t demand perfect answers. They demand honest ones. Honest answers turn into constraints, and constraints make creativity useful.

From Stuck to Steady: What Changes First (and Next)

Momentum rarely explodes; it accumulates. The first felt change is usually relief—a wall inside drops when the real problem is finally named. Relief makes space for confidence—not swagger, but the grounded sense that action is possible. Confidence enables action that actually finishes. Finishing produces trust in self-promises. And trust shifts presence—less performative talk, more concise contribution, comfort with silence, better timing.

These aren’t personality makeovers; they are byproducts of loops redesigned to serve the work.

Signs that the tide has turned:

• The day includes one unmistakable “done.”

• The browser has fewer tabs and more sent items.

• Meetings feel quieter inside; speaking happens less often and matters more.

• Planning shrinks; delivering grows.

• Progress is measurable without mental gymnastics.

Keep It Unstuck: Tiny Rules That Protect Momentum

Traction is precious; protect it with rules small enough to keep.

• One-tab start. Begin deep work in a clean window with only the doc or deck needed. Add context after a first pass exists.

• Ten-minute ignition. If a task feels heavy, commit to ten minutes. Most resistance dissolves by minute three; if not, re-scope.

• Point-Proof-Path emails. Every substantial message states the point, one proof, and the proposed path. Clarity is momentum.

• No-notify focus. Ring-fence at least one block per day without pings. Attention is a resource, not a reflex.

• Define “done” upfront. Before starting, write the exact “this ships when…” sentence. Then stop when that condition is met.

These rules are intentionally small.

Their power is consistency, not complexity.

Trade the Hamster Wheel for a Flywheel

Use coaching as a clear-thinking container: a mirror for patterns, a quiet space where thought can finish, and a lab for small experiments that become durable habits. If you're interested in that, book a career strategy call and we can have a chat—it's free!

Now remember: stuck is not a verdict—it’s a set of loops that can be redesigned.

Name the pattern, make one decision, produce visible proof, and close the loop. 

The payoff is practical and immediate: days that end with something shipped, a body that isn’t bracing all day, and a voice that’s steady because the system underneath is steady. Replace the wheel that only spins with a flywheel that stores energy—and watch momentum become the new normal.